Like a diamond in the sky...

Aqui viene el sol otra vez
lentamente fluyendo sobre el universo
por los cielos de diamantes
llevandose con el todo mi amor.

Mis ojos hundidos en aprendiendo a ver
Que no sera largo el tiempo en comencar el baile
en ese pasto de fresas contigo.

Ay algo en el modo en que dices mi nombre
Que hace todos mis sentimientos juntarce.
estoy llendo ase el camino del blue jay
Y cuando este alli , agarame fuerte, coje mi mano.

Finalmente lo puedemos dejar
porque todo lo que necesitamos es amor.

Before I go to bed...

I paint a picture in my head of what our future could be.
I make up stories about our life together, where? when? what? how?

I try to remember conversations we had that day,
Moments shared between us that I want to keep with me to save for later.

I think of you in ways in which only I'm allowed to think...
Divulging into little imaginative and playful fantasies.

I plan for tomorrow, the next day and many to come.
When will I see you? What will I say?

I think of all the things I want to tell you and questions I want to ask.
I attempt to find facts about me that you might not to keep you forever interested in me.

I scan my brain for new songs that I could possibly learn,
Ones that I could maybe tell you just how much I love you.

I try to visualize you at that very moment at which I'm laying in my bed.
What exactly are you doing? Sleeping? Dreaming... about....?

In the darkness your smile appears,
Your eyes flash bright blue, forever shining in my memory.






When I wake up...

I look at the clock, convert the time and then figure out where you might be in your day,
Possibly at school, or on your way home, or maybe still sleeping.

I look at my phone for my good morning text which normally flashes on the screen.
I smile and reply... I know I'm a sleepy head.

I plan out my days activities around when I will see you,
Trying to make sure that I'm there right when you get home so I can brighten up your "boring" day.

I think about what you might like to see me in that day,
I make sure I look perfect, or almost, so that I will not disappoint you.

I take a moment to ponder the previous day.
Is there anything I can do to make today better for you?






Before I get out of bed...

I think about how much I love you, how I can't wait to see you,
And how I can't wait to go to bed at night so I can think about you once again.

I did it.
Well we did it.
Yes, that's more like it.

We did it.
It's been said.
My head is spinning,
My heart is beating a mile a minute.
And there are my cheeks
Burning,
No.
Pleasantly Burning...
Hmmm
Pleasantly tingling with the smile you put there.
The one you always manage to put there.

You have this power.
Your smile, 
The look in your eyes.
One that does actually stop time.
For a second at least
Where I'm caught up,
Lost in time
Gazing into the absolute bliss that is before me.

Now you need to perfect that power
Come over here
And stop time for real.
So that we can live for a few moments together
Never pretending to be something we are not,
But showing what we truly are.

Finally....

Together.




I love you.

In an effort to get people to look
Into each others eyes more,
The government had decided to allot
Each person exactly one hundred
And sixty-seven words per day.

When the phone rings, I put it
To my ear without saying hello
In the restaurant, I point
At the chicken noodle soup. I am
Adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long-
Distance lover and proudly say:
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When he doesn’t respond, I know
He’s used up all his words,
So I slowly whisper I love you,
Thirty-two and a third times.
After that we just sit on the line
And listen to each other breathe.

The moment I said it...
"Goodnight and go"
I felt useless sitting here
Miles and miles of road between us.

If only I were a butterfly,
Then I could fly to you
And we could tie up these loose ends.

We could play hide and seek
As we dance in the shadowed candlelight,
Sparking those silver embers of love.


***



even landlocked lovers yearn



***


I love those lazy days
Where evening falls around us
And we're oblivious to its exile.

We paint the sky with stars,
One by one,
Like china roses on skies of caribbean blue
As we look up at the tea-house moon.

Hope has a place
Like a watermark on my heart.

There may be storms in Africa
But there is still sun in the stream,
And as silver inches pass
I will crash up on your shore.

I gave you the link.
It took guts you know!
I was exposing my deepest thoughts
The strongest emotions that surround my soul.
And now I can see you as you read this...
See your reactions,
You're smiles
Frowns.

Is that happiness?
Horror?
Contentment?
Anything?

You need to tell me
Because you're eyes never give you away.





Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest nights
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light.

There I go...


My hearts falling way too fast
My body can't even catch up.




We both want this,
I know we do.
There is no doubt in my mind.
So then why does it feel as if I need to take a step back,
Not you,
Me.
Like I'm too attached.


You're perfect
But me... I feel...


Fonsued.

Kasper's right... I am a heart breaker.
I am the girl thats had a boyfriend since 8th grade and hates being single.
I hate it.
I hate feeling like I've hurt so many people...
Took so many hearts.
I don't want this to overwhelm you, scare you...
So now I need to make a promise



I promise you,

That I will never let you fall
With me you will never hit the ground.
Instead, I'm the one who is falling
Because for once,
I've found someone that I don't feel like throwing away after three days.

I promise you,

That I will always be faithful
I will never stray, not a word, not a thought, no approach.
Instead, I will be worrying about your faithfulness.
Because for once,
I feel as if I might not be good enough and it scares me.

I promise you,

That I will always be truthful
No lies will escape my lips.
Instead, I will tell you exactly what is on my mind
Because for once,
I don't feel as if I need to hide what I am truly feeling.

I promise you,

That I will cut you up
If you ever try to insult yourself.
Instead, I want you to give yourself some more credit
Because for once,
You should realize just how amazing you are.





In your eyes
Love's alive
You've come untied
Cause we're flashing by
Like satellites

I think I might be falling for you...
Falling into the L-word.
It's hard to say it because well,
I've been there before
And I've gotten hurt
So, so bad.
But there doesn't seem to be another word
Remotely strong enough
To describe how I'm feeling
How you make me feel
How much I...


_ _ _ _


You.

I'm feeling


Feverish
Tingly
Hot
Scared
Safe
Comfortable
Content
Longing
Cherished
Joy
Sparkley
Special
Excited
Adoring
Innocent
Desire
Happiness
More than happiness
Sinful
Overwhelmed
To many emotions
Not enough emotions
Everything
Pinch Me

I feel loved
Loved
Loved
Loved


I feel all of that.


Except I'm not feeling that

I'm feeling more.

See it?
I cant get this smile off my face
Thats what you do to me.
You make me so ridiculously happy
That it almost feels sinful
But its not
I'm allowed to feel this
I'm allowed to feel this good
But I didnt know it was possible until now
Now
Right now...
Sitting here with you
Even though we're miles and miles
Miles and miles

Apart

We're somehow so close together
You.
You're everything.

There's the sparkle
The eyes and smile I've been longing for
It's such a rush
To see you there
I sigh
My finger tips are all tingly
A little more complete
I didnt think it was possible
To love you ten times more







I'm so glad you decided not to throw it out the window...

You are such a ninja.


 


You stole my heart.

When we're alone, it's as if I'm a whole other person.

I transform into this girl whose world is covered in dirt and soot. A girl whose life is being held in the palm of her ugly stepmother's hand. She's small and meek, but her dreams are regal, filled with the hope of leaving her cindered presence behind and finding her one true joy. Her only friends are those thoughts and words she creates in her mind, kept safe for fear that their escape may only cause her pain.

I transform into this girl whose only freedom is her imagination. Her powerful heart consumes her being, seperating her from the evil in her world.

I transform into this girl who manages to make it to the ball. Her entrance is breathtaking and however shy and afraid she may feel, she still manages to raise her eyes to meet yours. She realizes that her dreams of eternal happiness are starting to come true.

When we're alone, I transform into this girl who was about to fall only moments before being swept away by you. I transform into this girl who has found her prince charming.

And then it stops and I realize its just me. Me. There's no stepmother, no ball, no fear. But my prince charming is real. I'm just here alone with you, living this real life fairy tale.

 

Here comes the sun again
Slowly sweeping across the universe
Through skies of diamonds
Taking with it all my loving.

My sunken eyes have learned to see
That it wont be long until I'm dancing
In those strawberry fields with you.

There's something in the way you say my name
That makes all my thoughts come together.

I'm heading down the blue jay way
And when I'm there, hold me tight
Hold my hand.

We can finally let it be

For all you need is love.

I never loved no body fully

Waiting...

Always one foot on the ground

Waiting...

And by protecting my heart truly

Waiting...

I got lost in the sound.






But I want to _ _ _ _ you.




I need to find something to break my fall.

I was going to tonight.
I had in my head what I was going to say
How I would approach it.
How I would act.
But now it's late.
What do I do?


I need to start going to bed earlier.
My eyes are sore
Trying to stay open for you.








Oh well, you're worth it.

So I think this song basically sums up how I'm feeling at this very moment. (And I actually typed it all out by myself to give it more meaning)



Yeah I'll tell you something I think you'll understand
When I say that something, I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh please say to me, You'll let me be your man
And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that my love,
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, you've got that something, I think you'll understand
When I feel that something, I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

I wanna hold your hand.

Alright, so it has been FOREVER since I posted something... and yes forever is a little less than a year. I'm not even sure if anyone will read this anymore. I don't know if it sends out a message to my friends or what not. Doesn't matter really, if you read it, thank you and feel free to comment/say hi. (I would like that)

I've decided that, since I have so many wonderful emotions built up inside me, it is time to blog again. So here goes, another one of my coded, poetic blogs. Cheers!

If I could say what I wanna say...

I'd tell you how amazing you are. I'd tell you that I want to be with you forever. I'd tell you that you mean the whole world to me and I would do anything for you. I'd tell you that everything will be alright when things finally come together. I'd tell you that you're the one.

I'd say I wanna blow you away...

I wanna be perfect for you. I wanna be you're everything, the person you can't live without. I wanna be that girl in your dreams, the one whose smile is painted in your mind. I wanna hold your hand and never let go.

Be with you every night...

Brandon, Winnipeg, New York... Anywhere.

Am I squeezing you too tight...

I'm not going to let go, I don't want to. Please don't make me. Just let me know how you feel, what you want, what you need. Let me hold your hand, just tell me if it hurts.

♥

You're voice...
It echos in my mind
Soothing my nerves
My heart.
My soul.

 

♥

You make me so crazily happy, I can't smile enough to get it all out.

Well, it feels like I haven't posted in forever. So I figured that I would take the time to sit down and actually type up something decent. This week has been crazy. I've been incredibly busy and haven't had time to do much with anyone except... Warren. Somehow he is just always around. So last Monday our studio went into Winnipeg for our first dances in provincials. We managed to get two silvers which isnt that bad but we definitley could have done better. This weekend, Warren and I drove in on Friday because our dances were early on Saturday morning. Not the greatest time to dance but whatever, we dealt. That night we went and watched a bunch of dance and found out that the adjudicator was from New York. I got to talking to him after the sessions and he invited me to go to his studio to take some lessons while I'm there! How cool is that?! So then the next morning, we got up bright and early to dance. Ballroom Blitz, our studio's stage dance group, got silver. Me and Warren's duet got... get this... GOLD! the first gold of the studio! We were soooo pumped. I really still am because getting gold obviously feels amazing. 

Today is filled with crazy getting ready for New York. We leave for Winnipeg at around four today and I haven't put anything in my suitcase yet. I should probably get on that considering I'm the worst packer ever. I'm so excited for this trip.. My mom and I haven't done anything like this in a long time. I'm glad that she is actually taking the time to spend money on something for her... and for me. (added bonus) Don't worry people, I'll bring back treats!

Well... packing time. Many kisses from New York and Montreal. Miss me!